Thursday, February 26, 2009

Life Goes On

Life has slowly begun returning back to normal. Part of me does not want to move on. I know I cannot grieve and mourn the loss of my son forever, but I don't want to move on without him either. For my family's sake, though, I am doing as much as I can to move on while still remembering Luke.

We have been receiving good news concerning the medical aspect of all this. My former doctor told us he really didn't know what caused Luke's premature birth. Even when I gave him specific causes, he'd rule them all out. So we sought a second opinion. My new doctor thinks he knows exactly what caused Luke's premature birth and can prevent it (or at least try to) in any future pregnancies if we decide to try to have another baby.

I still have fears about this happening again and worry so much about the future. I am trying so hard to give my worries and fears to God. I know I have to allow Him control of all aspects of my life.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Anniversary Celebration

We attended the 50th anniversary celebration of our church this past Sunday. The service was great with all the former pastors speaking and wonderful music. There was a reception following the service in the gym. The church had one room filled with pictures and displays with all the church history. Then we walked down the hallway that connected this room and the gym and noticed the names and pictures of deceased church members. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised as we came to the next to the last one and Trey said, "There's one for Luke."

I am so grateful for my church family. Luke's life was important and it did matter.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Wish you were here

Listen to the first song playing on our music player or read the lyrics below.

This is a Contemporary Christian song by Mark Harris that I've heard countless number of times. It's never really touched me until I heard it yesterday morning. I actually listened to the lyrics and felt so close to Luke. I have no doubt that he is in heaven and he'd be saying these things to me if he could.

Over the past few weeks, one of the things I have said over and over to myself and to Trey is that I just want my baby back. I want him here with me. This song reminds me that he wants to be with me as well. But he is in a much better place waiting on me to get there.

The pain is still here. And I still miss Luke more than anything else. But I am starting to feel a small bit of peace and comfort that only God can provide.

Wish You Were Here lyrics:

Verse 1
I wanted to tell you how closely I've kept
The memories of you in my heart
And all of the lifetimes that we've had to share
Live even though we're apart

But don't cry for me
'Cause I'm finally free

To run with the angels
On streets made of gold
To listen to stories of saints new and old
To worship our Maker
That's where I'll be
When you finally find me

Verse 2
Now don't you be weary cause waiting for you
Are wonders that you've never known
Just hold on to Jesus, reach out for His hands
And one day they'll welcome you home

And that's when you'll be
Finally Free
Finally Free


I wish you were here 2x

And all of the dreams that you treasure
Will soon come together
And that's when your sorrow will find tomorrow
And you will rise again

Chorus 2x

I wish you were here 3x